I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
