And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
