You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
