Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize