so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
