so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
