i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
