Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
