You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
