remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
