woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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