he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
