somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
