I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
