Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
