You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
