Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
