I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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