The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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