Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
