Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
