just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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