Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
