If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
