Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
