That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
