you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
