i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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