I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
not ubering you a puppy
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
