dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize