dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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