The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It was a blind-side dick pic.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
