I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
