My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
