if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
