do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
