I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
