I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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