and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
