My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just had sex on a roof
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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