Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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