i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize