im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize