we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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