Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
