You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
