Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
no you cant smoke seaweed
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
