It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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