Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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