So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
