It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
