Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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