is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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