I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
