woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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