ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
