I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
