The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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