i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
