I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
