The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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