the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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