Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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