she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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