So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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