Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
