My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
