Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
